Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Feeling Blue

Moving is sad.
I've lived in IL for 9 years, over 1/4 of my life.  I've lived in my town home longer than any other home in my whole life.  I went from a newlywed, to a wife, to a mom all in the state of IL.  I am leaving so many memories behind.  So many special places.  I won't be able to drive by and point out my kids favorite places to them, or where they were born, or the house I brought them to when we came home from the hospital.  Not that they will care but it's sad to think that this part of my life is over.
The other day I picked out a couple presents for special friends and found myself crying in Hallmark.  I'm sure I'm not the first woman to break out the tissues in that store but it just made me realize how close I've gotten to my friends out here and how I'm going to have to start over, with new people, in a new town.
Not only am I missing what I have out here I'm missing things I've planned in the future.  My best friend and I talked about hanging out next this fall with just our littlests since the bigger kids would be in preschool and then the following year our littles would be in preschool while our boys were in Kindergarten.  We had grand plans of roaming the boutiques and eating peaceful lunches while our kids were in class.  We joked about my daughter dating one of her sons, about them being prom dates.  Knowing quite well that this probably wouldn't happen but also knowing our kids would be friends for along time and when they graduated highschool we could look back on pictures of them starting preschool together.  We could look back on pictures of us pregnant together.  I am getting teary eyed just typing this.  I have other friends out here who have known me since before I got pregnant and I've patiently waited for them to get through the tough baby stage to hang out again and they patiently waited for me.  Now we are all at points of our lives that hanging out it becoming much easier and I'm leaving.  I'm going to miss so much.  Some of my friends are getting married, having babies, having grandbabies and I'm not going to be here to celebrate those things.  Not just that, I'm going to miss the little celebrations too.  I know technology helps you feel close but it's not the same as meeting for coffee and laughing in person.
Sometimes I think my circle of friends is rather small but this past week I've started to say goodbye to so many people and I realize many people have touched my life out here.  Some people I see almost daily, some every couple weeks, and some maybe only a couple times a year but we are always there for each other.  Now I have to find those friends all over again.  The ones I get together with occasional, the ones I talk to every day, the ones that can count on me in a pinch, and the ones I can trust with my kids.  I have friends I can shop with, cry with, eat with, lesson plan with.  I hadn't realized the network of friends I had built and now I have to leave it all behind.
But moving isn't all sad...happy post coming up.

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